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Telegraph Apologises and Pays Damages to Melania Trump. For Confusing Her With Mekanika Dump – A Robot in a Comedic Podcast

January 27, 2019 Science and Tech, UK Politics, World News David Smith

 

The Daily Telegraph has apologised unreservedly to Melania Trump and agreed to pay her “substantial damages” for an article it published last week. 

“Melania – She’s a Fucking Robot”

The paper said the article in its Saturday cover story contained a number of false statements. 

The newspaper admitted it had made an error in confusing Melania Trump, the wife of the president of America with MekanikaDump, the robot wife of Donald Dump, two fictional characters in the upcoming side splitting comedic podcast MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction).

In the movie Mekanika, a sex-bot, has breasts like dials that can be set from ‘Normal’ through ‘Randy,’ ‘Horny.’ And ‘Stormy,’ to ‘Fart and Turn Over.’

The movie is a re-jig of the Dr. Strangelove theme in which Dump, with the help of shady Russian president Vladiwell Putitin, wins the US presidency, then starts a trade war with the Chinese president, Mi Hung Long.

The consequence of this results in the two world leaders being forced to ‘duke it out’ in a cage fight, in which the bewigged fat arsed US president accidentally sits on the big red button of a doomsday machine and destroys the world.

Melania Trump was said to be apoplectic about the blunder by the Telegraph and was quoted as saying, “The article rubs salt in an open wound. I was perfect for that role in the movie but they never even bothered to contact my agent.”

It’s also on record that Danny DeVito has asked to play the lead role, Donald Dump. “I got the looks, the gravitas, and a big fat ass,” said DeVito from Hollywood home, “I’m perfect for the part, and and I’m happy to wear the wig and screw the robot.”